So Many Emotions...

There have been a lot of changes in the Human household over the past 14 months. None of those changes have been as big or lifechanging as the one we were so pleasantly surprised with on November 30th...

The day actually started out quite sadly. We had learned on the day after Thanksgiving that my father-in-law had been diagnosed with stage 4 terminal lung or liver cancer. We decided to take dinner to my in-laws to talk and spend some time together. We had a really beautiful night with them, with a big heartfelt talk. It was overwhelming, really, but SO desperately needed. My husband's relationship with his mom and stepdad had been strained for several months. We were all just saddened that it took such a tragic event to bring us all together again.

During dinner, I wanted to break my suspected news to them, but knew that I couldn't until we were sure. Hope doesn't come easily when you're faced with certain death and we couldn't bear to break their hearts again.

Once we returned home, I ran to the bathroom with the bag from the pharmacy in tow. Peed in a cup, dipped the test stick... and almost immediately, we got a big fat "PREGNANT" result. I only remember screaming "Oh My God!" in a fit of sheer joy. I begged my husband to read the test to me, to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. In hindsight, I wish I could have been more creative or calm about telling him. Instead, I hugged him as tightly as I could and cried tears of happiness. I immediately regretted not having taken the test before we went to dinner.

To tell my son, I made a tshirt for him that reads "I'm Going to be a BIG Brother!" and a card. He opened the card and read it several times. His little jaw dropped and he asked me what it meant. "Who's going to be a big brother, Mom? Me???". I nearly bawled my eyes out as I nodded my head to confirm that he was finally getting the present he'd been asking Santa for over the past three years... he was getting a little brother or sister!

We're just six weeks pregnant today. I know that it's early and I pray hard day and night to make sure little one sticks with us. I used to be superstitious about revealing such news so early on, but I know we can use all the prayers we can get to help us make sure this pregnancy is healthy and successful. I had a really rough time when I was pregnant with my son, which makes me nervous about this one. But I've also found a faith in God that I never had before. I've stopped questioning the path that I'm on and have realized that He truly knows what we need and never gives us more than we can handle.

My husband has already started to show his saint-like qualities. My mood is swinging all over the place. I laugh, then cry, then laugh, then pout, then cry... it's a vicious circle. He's taking wonderful care of me and talks to our little one while we lay in bed. I can't wait until he's able to talk to him/her in person... August 4th is our estimated due date. I'm anxiously awaiting our first prenatal appointment on January 4th. In the meantime, I'm taking it easy and enjoying every moment with this little one... nausea, soreness, fatigue and all... In fact, nothing could make me happier!